Becoming a self-manager: 10 important competencies

Many skills guides say, "We need to take more responsibility for our lives." "We need to make sure today that we don't get into a crisis in the future." That sounds good, but it's not specific enough. But what skills will we need in the future to manage our lives? An attempt at an answer.

Competence 1: Think in alternatives

Our living environment is changing faster and faster. That's why, for example: If we have a good job today with brilliant opportunities for advancement, this does not guarantee that we will still have it in five or even ten years. Maybe the company we work for will merge with another and our division will be shut down? We have to learn to live with such imponderables, and also with the fact that we don't know what our living environment will look like in five or ten years. We must not be afraid of this. Otherwise, we'll go through life with the handbrake on - as if it were already clear that we're going to lose our job. Instead, we must work today to ensure that we still have several options even if the future turns out to be different from what we expect.

Competence 2: be sensitive to weak signals

We can only develop realistic options if we are sensitive to weak signals in our environment. What dangers could threaten us in the future? What opportunities might open up for us? Because the future is never the present, we can rarely base our (future) decisions on facts. We have to rely on assumptions. So we have to learn to perceive signals for upcoming changes in our environment and to deduce from them which consequences might result for us.

Competence 3: trusting our intuition

In the future, we will have to make decisions more often even though we lack important information. We also have to make decisions whose consequences we do not yet fully understand, which is why we also do not know whether they will lead to success.

Parents are already faced with this challenge when raising their children. No one can tell them how much harshness, indulgence or patience will be necessary for their children to master their lives in the future. However, just because it is unclear whether their actions will lead to the (desired) goal, parents cannot refrain from educating their children. The same will apply to other areas of life in the future. Here, too, we must increasingly rely on our intuition.

Competence 4: Seeing the big picture

In order to make the right decisions, we need to keep an eye on our lives as a whole. Only if we can assess what effects, for example, our professional decisions also have on our private life and our personal well-being, can we lead a satisfied and fulfilled life in the long term. If we lack this overall view, our attempt to find and maintain the right balance in life will fail.

For example, many young adults who take the plunge into self-employment underestimate the impact of this decision on other areas of their lives. For example, they overlook the fact that they will then have little free time because of the heavy workload. And after two or three years, he is shocked to discover that although my business is flourishing, I have lost my friends in the meantime.

Competence 5: Seeking and accepting advice

In our private lives, our view of our counterpart is often more "clouded" the closer the person is to us. We regard our child as a "treasure of gold," even though others see him or her as a spoiled brat. We perceive our love relationship as successful, although we give ourselves up in it. It is similar with our work. Therefore, we should learn to consult neutral observers or consultants from time to time to help us discover our blind spots. People often consult experts too late. Employees, for example, do not contact a coach or consultant until the termination notice is already on their desk. It would make more sense for them to check now and then whether their qualifications will still be in demand in the future. Then they could be proactive - for example, by continuing their education.

Competence 6: being able and willing to learn

However, high sensitivity to weak signals and all good advice are in vain if we are not willing to learn and draw the necessary conclusions from our findings. Many people are excellent at analyzing their lives and saying what would be necessary - but their analysis is not followed by action. This means that we must also develop a certain toughness against ourselves and take action - even if it is difficult for us.

Competence 7: be open to new solutions

In the future, we will have to design new solutions for many challenges because the old ones are no longer suitable for coping with the future. In some cases, we will even have to do the opposite of what we were successful with in the past.

This is difficult for almost all people, because we have trained our current thought and behavior patterns over decades. They are a part of us; accordingly, we find it difficult to discard them. For example, many employees are convinced that a permanent position offers them the most security. This can be a fallacy. After all, if the distant corporate headquarters decides to sell the store tomorrow, they could be out of a job tomorrow - even if they were top employees for years beforehand. Sometimes, therefore, it's safer to go into business for yourself, provided you have a good business idea and the requisite "entrepreneur gene".

Competence 8: Establish and maintain networks

Jumping over one's own shadow requires courage. We often can't muster it on our own. So we should forge alliances. That means we must learn to seek and find allies. We can only do this if we are willing and able to communicate our needs to others and compromise with them when necessary.

Here's an example: In the future, it will probably be even more difficult than it is now for both partners in a relationship to have a top career and at the same time lead a fulfilling family life with children. So they need to reach an agreement that enables both partners to realize their life vision as far as possible. To do this, they must first put their desires on the table. They also have to be prepared to give up certain things, for example a possible career move, so that they can achieve the good that is more important to them - for example a fulfilling family life, a satisfying partnership.

Competence 9: Know your own values

To develop sustainable compromises and partnerships, we need to know what is really important to us. Only then can we say what we are willing to do without and what we are not. If we don't have clarity in this regard, we either can't cooperate with others or we subordinate ourselves to their wishes - professionally and privately.

Generally speaking, what is important to us is also reflected in what we are willing to give up to achieve this. For example, some professionals want to have a top career and earn a far above-average income, but at the same time they want to have as much free time as possible - for their family, their hobbies. However, it is only possible to do both at the same time in exceptional cases. So it's a matter of deciding: What is more important to me?

Competence 10: be confident

A positive attitude toward change is one of the key qualities we need. Because if we are afraid of change, we don't dare to develop new life plans. Then we don't ask experts for advice in time, but close our eyes to the challenges we face.

A positive attitude toward change is also reflected in the fact that we accept the risk of failure and do not interpret failure as a personal failure. Because our failure proves: We have tried - unlike many of our fellow human beings. So why not give it a second try?

About the authors: Frank Linde and Michael Reichl are the managing directors of im-prove coaching und training GmbH, Lingen (Germany), which supports (service) companies and SMEs and their employees in change projects and trains change consultants (Tel.: 00 49 591/120 702 43; Email: kontakt_fl@im-prove.de; Internet: www.im-prove.de).